This week, The Broke and the Bookish is a REWIND and I picked Top Ten Authors I Would DIE to Meet, to which I say “ONLY TEN?!”. So, I’m going a bit further with it this week, which is the opposite of what lazy-me is normally inclined to do. Yes, these are authors I would DIE to meet, but I’m also including my dream hangout scenario with each author. Obviously my dream budget for each scenario is also in effect.
[(Because of twitter and instagram, I know a some weird things about authors and these weird scenarios come from a place of love and admiration and I swear I'm not a huge creep.) (Okay, it has never taken me so long to do a TTT, I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to do this.)]
1. Neil Gaiman: I can’t even comprehend the level of fangirling I would achieve. The man, the hair, the legend. Anyway, we would meet for breakfast after our respective workouts, and then hit the road with our dogs. Of course his white German Shepherd Lola would be instant BFFs with my white German Shepherd-y wolf dog Lady – even though Lady hates all other dogs) and the four of us would go to House on the Rock (even the most sheddingest dogs would be allowed in) and then book shopping and end the day with a quick meal with his wife before watching her perform.
2. Tahereh Mafi: Obviously, Tahereh is the best dressed person in the universe and basically I need her help in the worst way. We would thrift and boutique our way through Los Angeles (Tahereh does not exactly strike me as a thrifter, but I imagine she would use her magic powers to find the best stuff) and she would teach me to walk in heels and then we would pretend to be in an ANTM runway challenge and stomp all over the world. Our day would end at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter and we would pick out wands and drink butterbeer and be invited to stay the night in the Hogwarts castle where we would stay up too late looking at funny cat pictures on the internet.
3. Lauren Morrill: Lauren and I would would meet up for brunch and then take our dogs, Lucy and Lady (so many alliterative dog names, it’s fate!) to a dog beach – again the dogs are BFFs and play together super nice and Lady doesn’t attack anyone – and then grab our skates, put on our outdoor wheels, and hit the boardwalk with extremely well behaved dogs that don’t pull in crazy directions and murder us. Though the first part of the day seems to take place in San Diego in the summer, the second part would be in Boston in the spring (magic!). We would go book shopping and stop by the Make Way for Ducklings statues I love and then head to TD Garden because the Sharks are playing the Bruins FOR THE STANLEY CUP. I would be the only Sharks fan in attendance, the Sharks would squeak out an OT win, and I get to meet the team and become their lucky charm. Later, Lauren and I go back to her house for a slumber party and I use her gorgeous bathtub and it’s not creepy or weird at all.
4. Maggie Stiefvater: We start our day in Thisby (magic). Breakfast, lots of coffee, walking on the beach as the capaill uisce bob around in the water, a very safe distance away. From there, we go to the mainland to get our fortunes told, go to a classic car show, and then spend the rest of the day at a petting zoo that has EVERY ANIMAL and we get to pet them all. I would also get to meet Maggie’s new baby cow, The Polar Vortex and we would bond SO HARD that I would have to come back to hang out with The Polar Vortex (and Maggie, obvs) all the time.
5. Morgan Matson: ROAD TRIP! This would definitely be more than a daylong excursion and we would just drive around (okay, Morgan would drive because I hate driving) and go wherever the road takes us. We would stop at roadside attractions, national parks, and a water park if we happened across one.
6. Ernest Cline: Stars Wars marathon and video games until we pass out. I reactivate my WoW account and we become the most badass twos team and Blizzard has to invent achievements for us.
7. George R.R. Martin: We would sit at a brunch buffet all day (waffles and mimosas! an omelet bar! I’m seriously so hungry right now this is taking foreverrrr) and he would tell me EVERY SINGLE THING that is going to happen in the ASOIAF series and we would re-hash every thing that’s already happened and eventually we would be kicked out of the brunch place and get on our dragons and fly back to our respective homes. Also, for some reason Emilia Clarke and Richard Madden are both there and they both want to date me and I have to decline because I’m married.
8-9. Cath Crowley: We would hang out in an extremely spider-free Australia where we would run into Melina Marchetta and all be the best of friends. I don’t know enough about Australia to go into more depth than that.
10. Dolly Parton: Not the most author-y author on the list, but she’s published several books and is my personal hero, so. Basically, this scenario is that she adopts me and we live fabulously ever after, the end.
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